I know it’s only September and good taste dictates that Christmas should never be mentioned until long after Halloween, but in the world of entertainment Christmas has to be prepared well in advance. When you think about preparing for Christmas, you’re probably thinking about the dinner. Will it be turkey? Beef? How about an enormous cock?
Yes, the Dockers are coming back this year with a Christmas special and they have set up a kickstarter on justgiving. Yes that’s right, a kickstarter on Just Giving. I don’t think they quite understand that all the money will be going to charity.
If you haven’t heard of it before Dockers is a mockumentary podcast about the ordinary folk of the Galaxy from the lowly toilet attendants to famous wildlife documentary makers. It’s been going for a few years and usually does a live show at Lavecon, late at night, well after the watershed because it’s very, very naughty
If they meet their target they will put on the Christmas show, (though to be honest they will put it on regardless.) They have some rewards in their charity kickstarter. If you ever fancied being the subject of a documentary there are a few options to get your name in the show. Some of them are pretty unsavory.
Listen to the Christmas special in the comfort of your own home for no additional cost!
Listen to the Christmas special in the comfort of your own home for a small additional cost!
Have your name read out by the Narrator at the end of the show with the credits.
Listen to the Christmas special in the comfort of your own home for a substantial additional cost!
A lifetime supply of Gnosis Avian Cheese**While stocks last (10 available). Only one block per lifetime, believe me that is enough. No refunds. First come first serve. After ten blocks are allocated reward will be downgraded to tier 3
A sketch featuring you written and performed by members of the cast of dockers.* To be clear when we say members we don’t mean penises. The segment will be up to 5 minutes long.
A character of our choice will perform a sex act on you during the show**This will be a dramatisation not an actual act you sicko
A character of our choice will perform an enjoyable sex act on you during the show**This will be a dramatisation not an actual act you sicko. Enjoyment is not guaranteed.
We will have your ears surgically removed so that you never have to listen to the show again.*Need I tell you that this is satire and not a cure for body dysmorphia?
The episode will be set in the Star Citizen Universe
Are you a pharma-bro? We will record a 40 minute episode exclusively for you. Nobody else will be able to listen to it unless you let them.